From My Rotting Body, Flowers Shall Grow and I Am In Them and That Is Eternity

The title line for this post is quote from Norwegian painter and print maker Edvard Munch (1863-1944) who is best known for his composition The Scream.

Death and Life on the Trail

by Susan Fay

     Clearly, there has been a struggle.  The few small clumps of fresh skin and hair testify to it as do the skid and struggle marks written in the dirt.

     “Deer,” Lorenzo says as he rubs the hair between his thumb and forefinger.  I pluck a piece from the ground and sniff it.  The scent is rich, musky, and reminiscent of beef roast.  The odor is surprisingly appealing.

     “Hmmm.  Well, it sure didn’t go quietly,” I say, pointing to the patches of disturbed dirt.  My eyes register a deer track or two, but nothing more.  “What got it?”

     “Coyotes,” Lorenzo replies with certainty.  “You know, Sue, a deer is nothing for cay-O-tees.  They find the young; they find the sick; they don’t give up.”

     I am not so certain.  Amidst the rotting leaves of January, the tufts of green grass and busted twigs and branches, there is no sign of a predator.

     “Where are the tracks?” I say, knowing they can be difficult to impossible to see.  A coyote, after all, does not weigh much.

      Lorenzo, who is an excellent hunter, takes a wide angle view of the crime scene before shrugging his shoulders.

     We’ve come to the woods to scout location for a new trail, one we’ll use for the horses.  Instinctively, I look up.  I’m not really sure why but I do so anyway.  A primal memory -- a big cat hauling a carcass up a tree -- flashes through my mind.

     Life and death, the beginning, middle, and end are all sweetly seamless in nature.  The fallen deer ensures the health of the hunter and the hunter’s clan.  In turn, coyotes stalk the elderly and weak, culling easy prey and creating vibrant, strong deer populations.

     This is a wild thing’s purpose, to live fully in the present until there is no more.  To exist wholly in NOW.  How different it seems for humans and why is this?

     Recently, a friend wrote me about the death of her mother and the death of her best friend’s mother, which both occurred last year:  “I’m looking forward to a year of no goodbyes – that’s a wish to the universe.”

     Part of me wants to console my friend and the other part recognizes the stark, nature-based reality.  With all my being, I want to scream this is it, this moment, this very instant in time.  Breathe it in and live big.  Leave your mark on the trail so that others, the ones that will follow, will see you were here.

Copyright 2012, Susan Fay.  All rights reserved.  Please contact me at susan.fay@coho.net  if you would like to re-print this very short story.